Ortal Slobodin - Auther of the book "Covert passengers"
Q - As I noticed, you used to live in the Netherland, so I'm assuming you had some of the experiences you wrote about in your book, did you experience hardship during your relocation? and if so, how did you cope with it?
A - I think the question depends first on how we define hardship or crisis, but it refers to the feeling of identity loss, confusion, insecurity and anxiety, then I definitely felt them. It was very difficult for me to separate my professional life and my professional identity, and I felt overwhelmed and bored spending so much time alone with my young children (that didn't go to school until the age of four). What ended up helping me is taking control of my situation and not to wait for things to happen. On the practical side: I started studying the language, find a caretaker for the children two days a week, so I could continue with the publication of my doctorate. On the emotional side: I found a studio where I can dance ballet. it's something I've been practising since I was 4 years old, and for me, as long as I dance, I feel at home.
Q -You mentioned this in your book, but I would like to elaborate regarding the very intimate interviews you have conducted:
Q -1 did you feel they were honest and open with you?
A-1 I felt that most of them were completely honest with me and shared personal and intimate details from their life, their motherhood and relationship with their partner.
Q-2 Have you met them before, or new them?
A-2 Some of the women I knew vaguely or through friends, for others, the interview was the first time that we met. I avoided interviewing women who are part of my close circle.
Q-3 Have you had some women that shared only parts of their story?
A-3 From what I felt, most of them shared everything.
Q During the interviews you made, have you come across some specific ways, ideas, mantra, object, therapy, new hobby etc that allow these women to cope with the difficulty they have experienced? Was this way helpful to them? A Definitely! Some women turned to therapy, mostly via Skype, that help them a lot to cope with their emotions, One of them mantras that seemed quite helpful to some women was "we are in this together" - meaning the feeling that this is a family operation, another mantra I heard was "if it won't be good for us - we can come back (to Israel T.F)" that was very helpful to women not to feel trapped in this situation. Some of these women started a new hobby or flourished an old dream. I noticed writing a blog or a book they always dreamt to write and interior design as something that came up a lot during the interviews.
Q Have you come across a creative way to cope with hardship that was used by any of the women you met?
A For me, every way that holds an element of something new, liberate, autonomy, motion and choice considered to be part of the creative process. For example, when a woman starts running can be a creative outlet because it demonstrates taking control of your life and searching for a new space for growth.
Q In your book you are focusing on the cultural-psychology connection to the place we live. I use the term "culturally specific" as the way we cope with hardship during immigration/relocation. Do you think that overcoming crises and hardship comes from the intersection of the culture that we come from with the culture that we are in now and how we assimilate into the new culture and will be successful according to which stage we are in the assimilation process?
A I completely agree with it. World's researched are showing that people who are able to incorporate best are people who successfully fuse between the culture they came from and the new, local one. I can't say in certain that it is the only thing that will lead to successful results but better results of dealing with this process. In my opinion, this considered to be a successful dealing because it acknowledges the loss that was caused by the relocation along with the chances for growth and development and holds effort to assimilate in the new place (which is a complicated challenge by itself)
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