Hi There,
Thank you for your kind response, and your willing to take part in my research.
My name is Tamar and I'm an MA student for Applied Imagination in the creative industries in CSM, London.
I'm currently researching the subject of overcoming hardship for women during the relocation/immigration period.
I'm sending you some guided questions so you can tell me a little more about yourself and I will be able to customize my questions as per your response.
Family status
Place where you live and how long have you been living there.
Short description of the hardship you are in (or were).
Short description of the ways that you find useful to cope with hardship, I would like you to focus on if there was an object that helped you through your hardship like a book, toy, mantra, song, jewellery, picture, therapy, yoga etc.
For example, My name is Tamar, I'm married with two children, I live in London for the past year and a half, I'm experiencing marriage crises that seem to be lead to separation. I'm coping with my hardship using therapy, mindfulness and seeking other alternative methods to secure my confidence and take control over my life and the life of my family.
Please feel free to contact me through my email tamarfiss@gmail.com or call me/WhatsApp 447902117364.
I would be very happy to answer any of your questions, and everything that will be said or written between us will remain confidential without identifying details unless it's approved by you.
Many thanks and all the best,
Tamar Fiss
שלום לך, תודה רבה על הנכונות לעזור ולהשתתף במחקר.
שמי תמר ואני סטודנטית לתואר שני Applied imagination in the creative industries ב CSM בלונדון. אני חוקרת עכשיו את נושא התמודדות עם משברים עם התמקדות בנשים ברילוקיישן או בהגירה. אשמח לקבל ממך כמה פרטים, כדי לדייק את שאלותי: מצב משפחתי, מדינה/עיר שבה את מתגוררת, כמה זמן את נמצאת שם, תאור קצר של המצב המשברי שבו את נמצאת או שהיית, תאור קצר של דרכי ההתמודדות שבחרת - עם דגשים על אם היה אובייקט מסויים שעזר לך להתמודד עם המשבר - ספר, שורה משיר, בובה, תכשיט, מדיטציה, טיפול פסיכולוגי, מנטרה, תמונה וכו. לדוגמא: אני תמר, נשואה + 2, גרה בלונדון שנה כמעט וחצי, אני חווה עדיין משבר בחיי הנישואין ואני מנסה להתמודד בעזרת ליווי פסיכולוגי וחיפוש דרכים אלטרנטיביות לחיזוק הבטחון הפנימי והמשפחה. את מוזמנת גם לשלוח לי במייל Tamarfiss@gmail.com או בווטסאפ +447902117364 אני אשמח לענות על כל שאלה. כמובן שכל מה שיאמר או יכתב ביננו נשאר דיסקרטי ללא חשיפת פרטים מזהים. תודה רבה והמשך יום נעים, תמר
SM M+3 USA 5 years Struggling with marriage problems and breast cancer treatment. Her husband with a heart condition as well. She was using therapy sessions (in Hebrew) for a while that gives her a lot of optimistic approach to life. She is doing lectures for people about facing and overcoming hardship in life.
SI Separated + 2 lives in London UK for 3 years She had her marriage separated. They both still live in the same house. She is using psychology therapy (English), guitar lessons (English), and starting a Virtual mindfulness course soon. Before starting her personal therapy, they were using couples therapy (English) for a while. She was using overseas support from friends using WhatsApp mostly (Hebrew), and with local friends in English, and face to face. She didn't want to go back to Israel, during all phases of this process, and still doesn't intend to. She thinks that if they were in Israel, facing this hardship would be more all over the place. In perspective, the problem started long away while they were still in Israel, but was escalated due to the relocation challenges. Back in Israel, it was easier to avoid conflicts, spending time with friends and family that were always around and being in a familiar and comfortable serenity, so she was not really facing the problem, and mostly she was hoping for things to get better by talking to her partner about it. Here in London, they had to face the music, they didn't have their friends and family around them and problems excelled till the point where she realised she needs external support desperately. Once she started excepting external support, there was no turning back, and they understood they should deal with the root of their problem and not just the surface.
O M+1 CA USA Recently moved with her husband to a new environment without any friends or family. Her partner started working immediately and she experiences loneliness, frustration, everything is new and unclear. She feels her marriage suffered from the transition, but she experiences it as a growing phase - force them to embrace their relationship since its just the two of them. She practices yoga, breathing, positive thinking and guided imagery. Reevaluate her expectations - allow herself to feel lost in a new country and share her struggles and thoughts with her husband that ease the bargain.
Y M+3 UK She feels that the relocation hurt her marriage, her self-esteem, personal development and confidence. In the beginning, after a while, she tried to move back (to Israel) but her return didn't come well with the rest of her family and they all went back to England after a short period. After going back, she realised they have to work things differently this time - she started studying Therapy and did her internship throughout this time. They sold their house in Israel and bought a new house here that gave them a sense of stability and security.
S M+1 UK 5 years She currently lives in a small town, prior to that, they lived in Oxford for 4 years. She suffered hardship when it took her 6 months to find a job. After 3 months of not be abling to find a job, she went to women group meetings with a therapist and realise she is not in a bad state compare to some of the women there, and understood she needs to change her state of mind. After that, she found a temporary position and studied for a specific local affiliation. What helped her overcome her difficulty was to understand that she needs to adjust herself to the new situation, otherwise she will lose herself and her identity. She understood that she has to start somewhere even if it's not her ideal position but she should get out of the house and start working and gain experience in the field and kickstart her job. She is being very optimistic about her changes (moved recently to a small town where she had to start finding new friends) and feels that everything will eventually fall into place.
D lives in Finland with her partner for 7 months. She had to deal with many difficulties during the past months, and the biggest one was finding a job. She followed her partner to Finland so her working permit is quite limited. She assumes it won't interfere with finding a job since she has an engineering background but so far she failed every try or possibility she had. She feels that her ethnicity background (skin colour especially) caused people to stare at her and treat her differently. Adding to that, her father became ill and were hospitalized so she had to go back home for a while to assist her mother, that after a short time was hospitalized as well. She felt like everything has collapsed in front of her eyes and there is nothing she can do about it. She is not giving up on finding a job, she keeps applying and seeking for a position, she even applied for a job she was overqualified for, in the Israeli embassy and so far, without any success. She thinks about going back to Israel, sad as it may be. She didn't try much to cope with her situation, she mostly "complain" to friends and family and feels very blessed to be surrounded with a lot of support (that all located in Israel). She feels that once she'll find a job, everything will get better. "Being a foreigner" issue will always be there (there's always people who don't like foreigners). Finding a job is very important for her that's why it's the most difficult thing for her to cope with. She feels like she is missing a chance for a "career". She doesn't know how to articulate it, but she feels like she has some kind of bad luck with the job-seeking matter, and the "highlight" was when she applied for a job in the embassy and was very qualified for the position and was already living there but was rejected due to the fact that she already has a working permit. The whole situation was very complex and unclear, and she tried to figure out how she can solve it and didn't receive much response, which causes her despair. She said that when she lived in Israel she had no problem finding a job and was accepted to all position that she interviewed for. She was very confident and just before she moved, she rejected a very good offer in order to move to Finland. She was not aware of how difficult it will be to find a job there without the language qualifications or proof of relevant experience in this specific area. She had one interview that went very well and the person who interviewed her said she most likely will get the position, but something went wrong there as well since she never heard from them again. She knows that sometimes a person needs to give up but in her case, it will be going back to Israel by herself. she encouraged her partner to go to school in Finland and now he will have to stay there for 3 years so it means that she will have to go back by herself which would make her return much harder. At first, she felt it was all her fault, he was also the only provider and now he isn't, but she knew it's a sacrifice for a better future for them. The one thing she holds on to is that they made a promise to themselves that no matter what happened they will never give up. Their relationship started as a long-distance relationship and they knew they will have to face difficulties, but she didn't think it would be so hard. When she struggles she remember that and try to practice positive thinking, that everything is for the best and maybe this position was not the right one, and the next one will be.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I Married+2 USA . בגלל אילוצים משפחתיים חזרתי לארץ עם הבנות לכמה חודשים ובתקווה עוד כחודש נחזור לבעלי שנמצא כל הזמן הזה במיאמי. הקשיים שלי זה עבודה. לא בטוחה שרוצה להמשיך בקריירה מתלבטת אולי לשנות כיוון ובתוך כל זה מפחדת מהשוק התעסוקתי האמריקאי שלא אצליח להשתלב שפה וכו... בינתיים מה שאני עושה זה כן חוקרת באינטרנט בתחום שאני כן מכירה ומצד שני מחפשת מידע על תחום אחר. שולחת קצת קו"ח ונראה. בגדול ההתמודדות היא פשוט לא לוותר ולהמשיך לנסות מה שרשמת זה בדיוק זה!!!! עבדתי במקום אחד 16 שנה באותו התחום. הרילוקיישן שלנו הגיע מיוזמתינו. חשבנו על זה כמה שנים ובסוף עשינו את זה. עזבתי מקום עבודה אולי עם שכר לא הכי טוב אבל עם קביעות ועוד כל מיני "פינוקים". לא הסתכלתי לאחור כי כל כך רציתי את זה. בדיעבד נראה שעזבתי בזמן כי המקום מדרדר לאט לאט. כשעברנו למיאמי ידענו שלא אוכל לעבוד בהתחלה והייתי מוכנה לזה. אף אחד לא הכין אותי לזה שפתאום אהיה עקרת בית אחרי 16 שנה של עבודה. אומנם אני לא מתלוננת אבל הבנות איתי בבית וזה לא קל. עכשיו אני בשלב של חיפוש עבודה. מרגישה כאילו יש לי מבוך בראש. כלכך הרבה רעיונות ושום דבר לא רלוונטי. כמו ילד שנמצא בחנות ממתקים ולא יודע מה לבחור. אני יודעת שיש לי הזדמנות חד פעמית להחליף מקצוע לעשות משהו אחר אבל מפחדת קצת ולא בטוחה בעצמי. אז השאלה האם ללכת למקום הבטוח (שגם הוא לא ממש בטוח בארץ זרה) או למשהו חדש לחלוטין. המון שיקולים כשמיוחד יש ילדים. הבעל תומך אבל מלחיץ מאוד. בינתיים מחפשת במקום הבטוח, מנסה לגלות מה מלהיב אותי ובמקביל כן בודקת לגבי שינוי כיוון. קצת עבודה קשה אבל אני חייבת להשאיר הכול פתוח. והאילוצים המשפחתיים- חתונה של אחותי וסיום מסמכי ההגירה שלי. הייתי חייבת לחזור לארץ בגלל הסיבות האלה. לצערי מסמכי ההגירה שלי לוקחים יותר זמן ממה שחשבנו.כרגע הכול אושר, אני ממתינה לדרכון המעודכן ואז אחזור למיאמי ואתחיל את חיי באמת. הכול עד עכשיו היה זמני ולא ידוע שזה גם קשה להתמודדות ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
T Married +2 USA 1 year She experience identity crisis, feel invalid, without purpose and the ability to face her problems. She tried to face her difficulties by going to job searching workshop, met with couch for few times, but mostly experience loneliness and avoidance
D D used to live in Africa and had a supervisor who was abusing her. She was in a relationship with a local man and didn't want to leave her job and she will not be able to stay there without a working permit that was connected to this specific position. She ended up getting fired and was looking for a solution for her working permit, but fortunately for her, a week afterwards, her partner was fired too and they both moved together to a different country. She feels that this would never happen in Israel since in Africa he all life was depending on her employee, not just her salary payment but all her ability to stay in this country. Since then, we found a new job, got married and
H Moved to Berlin, Germany with her husband and two cats in 2014. in 2017 they moved to Koln due to her husband job to stay there until the end of 2019. She was very miserable there and after a year or so went back to Berlin with the cats and they been having long-distance relationships for the past six months with the intention to continue it for at least six more. They both using therapy as part of coping with their situation. She started taking some psychiatric medication as well, and now they admitted that it's not working and they have to change their reality and not just their perception of it. They also try to talk about their new setting and life all the time. She feels that they have passed the crisis and they are now adjusting to this new reality. She doesn't feel like they have achieved some kind of routine but she feels that the unbearable tension between them is already gone. 📷 📷
📷 📷
Comments